I can’t believe the mixed-messages our media-driven society sends regarding today’s topic. If you watch daytime television or Lifetime Network (which I don’t, whenever possible) you’ll be hit with commercials depicting some hot mommies doing their typical superhuman things, including dealing with several toddlers while looking good doing it. Then, watch late-night television (which I also don’t, whenever possible) and you’ll be hit with infomercials designed to make women feel self-conscious about what motherhood has done to their physical appearance.

Whatever.

You know by now how I feel about what the media has done to distort our concept of what really is attractive to the opposite sex. So make no mistake about it: Motherhood can be, and I would argue usually is, very sexy. In just about every way.

The low hanging fruit here (no, not that) is the rise of MILFdom in recent years. If you are unfamiliar with the term look it up elsewhere, but for all intents and purposes MILF = sexy mom. For some reason, and a good one, even younger guys have figured out that Stacey’s Mom Has Got It Going On.

That’s no joke either. If you are a 35 year old woman with an online profile, you might be getting “messages” from younguns who haven’t even cleared college age yet. No, this isn’t some weird (and recurring) software error. They’re digging you.

I have personally been out with several women in their thirties who had daughters at a very young age. These kids are now in high school. Each mama had a story to tell when I asked if there’s ever an issue when their daughters’ little boy friends meet mom. One woman even has a pact with her daughter that they won’t date anyone closer in age to the other than themselves. Hilarious, but true.

How about before a woman has even given birth—during her pregnancy? Yeah ladies, we know…us guys hear all the time how “fat, etc.” you are getting. You feel disgusting. Well, you aren’t. ESPECIALLY to the Dad. Now we aren’t talking about man-boy I/Js (Idiot/Jerks) here who either 1) are using a woman’s pending new family commitment (and the fact that presumably she wouldn’t dare leave him while in that “condition”) as an excuse to throw down with every chickie babe silly enough to let him have a piece, or… 2) …who are just flat out morons. Mama, if your man loves you, he loves you pregnant. When he tells you that you are beautiful, will you please believe it? That’s his kid going on in there! In fact, some guys are turned on by pregnant women in general, and there are Web sites to prove it.

If you look at scientific studies on how heterosexual men and women become attracted to one another, it often comes down to archetypal response to pointers of fertility. I mean, let’s face it: sexual attraction, from the natural aspect, comes down to procreation. S/he who is more fertile is more attractive. Fertility and gene-pool quality (which is another topic altogether) are what make us attractive to the opposite gender a lot of the time. So here it is—if you are a mom already, it makes sense that your proven fertility is going to make you attractive to men. If you want to argue with me on this, go for it, but I believe very strongly that this is the case. At the very least, men often are not turned off by the physical effects of pregnancy like many women somehow seem to believe. On top of all else, don’t be surprised that many guys--if they are man enough to admit it—actually have no issue with the stretch marks and any other evidence that you have been pregnant before. I personally believe that caesarian scars are sexy. And I’m not weird.

So is this only all about looking good? I really don’t think so. There is something about motherhood that changes a woman. Not all guys understand this pragmatically, but many respond positively to such things—even if subconsciously.

Everyone knows that confidence is a huge turn-on for both genders. And moms tend to learn life’s tough lessons about responsibility. Especially single moms. Any guy who wants to find an amazing woman--one with a confident attitude to take on the world with--should hang out with a single mom or two. 'Nuff said.

And, you know what? It might not hurt to add how fatherhood tends to be a turn on for women also, especially…moms. Big surprise there, right? Have you ever noticed that moms and dads really tend to appreciate each other—even at the raw attraction level? Yeah, well, I’m a Dad…and I absolutely have.

Copyright 2006 X & Y Communications

Want to hear more? Scot McKay is a dating coach in San Antonio, TX and founder of X & Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources. He is the author of the new book “Deserve What You Want”, and hosts the popular podcast series “X & Y On The Fly”. He may be reached at scot *at* xandycommunications.net or on the Web at http://www.dating-advice.us/ and http://www.datetoorder.com/. The podcast series is available free of charge at feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly.

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